In the beginning

We moved in 2002 with our two young children into a house built in 1995 by a local man. It is a lovely house, in a quiet, friendly neighbourhood. Next to our property was a vast scrubland destined for use for housing. We already knew of the outline planning permission for Kingbuncle, but we were not expecting what happened over the next twelve years.

In 2006 and despite a comprehensive tree preservation order, a large wood composed of tall, beautiful, healthy trees which provided nesting for lots of local birds including buzzards and woodpeckers were unceremoniously cut down by the developers with the very weak excuse that contamination was within the wood despite the fact that absolutely no tests or surveys were carried out in the woods.

We and our fellow neighbours protested on site and appeared in the local paper to no avail. I voiced my concerns in writing that the removal of this much loved wood was a cynical and callous move. We were given an assurance that the following year they would plant new trees on de-contaminated soil to replace them. Eight years on there is still no sign of the promised trees.

During the land clearing phase, in which they felled a beautiful, tall and rare Perry pear tree, they employed an army of masked and gloved strimmer operators to remove much of the scrub land vegetation. I was curious as to why they were masked until, within a day of the operation starting, my wife was covered from head to foot in a rash which turned out to be strimmer’s rash or Phytophotodermatitis caused by strimming, amongst other plants, hogweed or cow parsnip which was common on the scrubland.

Clearly the developers had zero regard for the safety and well being of the occupants of the sixty odd houses adjacent to the site.

It appeared that there were small areas of land which were contaminated with radio active Radium 226 from aircraft dials buried during the years of occupation by the RAF. The whole site was sample tested and a number of samples showed high levels of contaminants including Lead, Arsenic, Radium 226 etc. The options open to the developers were to either cover up the contamination, remove the discovered contamination spots or remove all the surface soil and replace with new soil. I spent many hours pouring over the reports and making it known to the council that only the latter option would do. This clearly would cost the developers a lot of money but would guarantee that the generations who lived in Kingbuncle would not be poisoned or irradiated. The council agreed that the developers should remove all the soil – hurrah! However, to save money they simply swapped clay from an old riverbed nearby with the contaminated soil. The idea of using waterproof (and nutrient free) materials to cover a housing estate and allotments was laughable – of which more later.

During the land replacement phase and the main build, the developers have routinely disregarded their obligations on dust control, noise, use of safety helmets and operating hours. We have complained time and again and now taken to logging the transgressions. Despite sanction from the council they obey for a day then revert to type.

It was time, next, for the detailed planning application.

When we first saw the plans, we were dismayed to see that the developers had planned to put the only two blocks of flats as close as possible to our house. I spent many hours building a virtual 3D model of the proposed housing layout and our house and objected at the first planning meeting that the flats were overbearing, overlooking and too close to our house. The committee agreed and told the developers to move the block of flats. At the next meeting they had rotated the flats by about 40 degrees. I employed a right to light organisation in helping my case and they found that indeed I was being denied light (and privacy) by this block.

I appealed again and the chairman took exception to the cynical begrudging change made by the developers and told them to move them properly. At the next meeting they had moved them a few metres from the original location. I objected to the fact that they had placed a house with an overlooking window within a metre of my rear fence. The planners agreed that this window should be removed, and permission was granted.

Now, to return the clay covered land. During the first reasonably heavy rainfall after the clay coating was applied to the fifty odd acres of land, the rain could no longer be soaked into the scrubland and much of it found its way into mine and my neighbour’s gardens.

My neighbour’s garden was entirely flooded under two inches of milky clay rainwater.

My neighbour had come back from a short break to find this and rushed round to ask whether a water main had burst nearby. I explained that the water was from the developer’s cunning river bed clay money saving opportunity. My neighbour called the water company who visited and agreed with me that this was the case. I had previously warned the developers and the council that this would happen but they ignored my assertion. The developers visited my neighbour and offered a paltry few pounds as compensation and dug a drainage ditch along the fence line. Meanwhile my shed took most of the impact in my garden and promptly collapsed. I realised that there was no point in complaining since the developers seemed well versed in cutting corners and having zero regards for people’s feelings or public relations.

The security of the site has been comical and the access roads were protected by that highly effective Heras fencing. There were countless occasions when opportunistic locals would simply lift the fences clear of their platforms and calmly use the site as a shortcut, day and night. People could be seen digging for worms, presumably for fishing, and children played amongst the thick wet clay.

I sent those concerned an email which was inspired by David Thorne (27bslash6.com):

Dear esteemed developer,

The string vest which has aspirations of stardom as a security fence has once again dismally failed to come up to measure. It has been flapping open in various places for every one of the last twelve days now. One whole section (a cars width) has now been wide open for 24 hours. Does the person responsible for checking this vest have a dog and a special stick?

There are those who inhabit/commute/deliver round here who can see a big advantage in using your nice shiny new road as a shortcut in their headlong rush to get to that glorious...umm, whatever Prince Charles described in 1984 of modern architecture.

These people have obviously opened their five year olds’ Christmas presents early and purloined a cardboard spanner from a beginners Meccano set to undo the cunningly devised lace clamps which do their best to hold the career of said vest together in much the same way as your methods to hold back the flood caused by yourselves in mine and my neighbour’s gardens which, incidentally, was inundated again last week.We could have perhaps used the string vest as a net to collect the float-able contents of our gardens after a really heavy downpour of mist.

Having visited the Olympic Park this year I had a thought that maybe we could turn the Kingbuncle riverbed into a full blown canoe slalom course, with the competitors needing to navigate past hazards like men with buckets searching out lugworms for fishing, children building claycastles, marine ecowarriors mistaking a fence-bound football for a distressed pufferfish ,horse and carts with travellers uttering incoherent metal requests (I think) and even white van men who make it deliberately difficult for the canoeists to know the correct side to pass without being deducted points.  I really think it has potential.

I actually thought that you might lose the vest to the plethora of metal thieves currently hogging the headlines and selling to the travellers on carts but I guess once they discovered that the haberdashery market wasn't quite as lucrative they left it alone.

I have been trying to sell my house for five years now in an attempt to escape the almost overwhelming thrill of living next to Kingbuncle, but despite viewers loving our house, none could be convinced that they really weren't going to build a lighthouse and quay next to my fence, so I'm now considering setting up a grandstand to view the canoeing events and selling tickets!

Anyway I must leave you to your fence darning now and see if Lord Coe fancies my idea.

Kind regards

Mr Anthrop

In August 2014 I wrote to the developers asking about how they intended bordering my property as my fence was in parts nearly twenty years old and may not stand the rigours of a young boisterous family as a party boundary.

The developer claimed to have called round to discuss the matter but nobody was in. Considering I work from home and am rarely away and have sight of the entrance, I can only think that the concept of a doorbell must have eluded him. They sent me a letter a few days later to ask that I phone to make an appointment…